Preparing For the 2024 Golf Season

Now that the 2024 Chicago Golf Show in Rosemont is over, many attendees sought to ready themselves for the upcoming season by purchasing new clubs, shoes, and gloves. Still, other golfers without new equipment prepare their golf game by regripping their old clubs, cleaning the grooves, or replacing soft spikes.

But, if lack of practice or fitness failure has your golf game covered in rust at the start of the new campaign, there is another means that many high-handicappers incorporate in preparation for the rigors and errors that are to come on the links – assembling a list of excuses for bad shots.

Just a couple of winters ago, while playing a round at a desert-style course in Arizona, a playing companion offered this reason for a poor shot: “That coyote snarled at me”. So, using that excuse as inspiration for this less-than-serious article, presented here is a lengthy list of lame excuses to help explain away mishits.

Geese Staring

1) The geese were staring at me.
2) I was downwind of a stinky cigar.
3) That tree was much less than 90% air.
4) I didn’t have time to go to the range.
5) I spent too much time on the range.
6) There are too many worm holes in the fairway.
7) I knew you were about to sneeze.
8) I never play well on Thursdays.
9) My lucky tee just broke.
10) The tee box markers were crooked.
11) An ant walked on my putting line.
12) Downhill putts make me dizzy.
13) I don’t like hitting odd-numbered irons.
14) The practice green was a lot slower.
15) I hurried my swing because the riding cart is too slow.
16) My new grips are too tacky.
17) This pin sheet can’t be right.
18) My breakfast bean burrito started kicking in.

A bit of thanks goes out to the copy writers of the television ads for Carl’s Golfland, some of whose excuses are incorporated here. This is, by no means a complete list, because excuses are like golf swings – everybody’s got one. Enjoy the 2024 golf season!


Greg Miles

Greg Miles has been a writer following golf in Chicago since 1990. For the past 30 years he has been a member of the Golf Writers Association of America and currently is classified as a GWAA "Life Member". He played his first round of golf on his 11th birthday, and since then has played more than 7,300 rounds of golf in his lifetime at 517 different courses. He has interviewed more than 280 golfers across all the professional tours along with famous celebrity golfers. Additionally, he is a member of several other competitive and honorary golf associations, as well as the Golf Nut Society.

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